Casual Sexual Harassment

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Sexual harassment is something that all women (and some men) have to deal with. This may seem like a generalization or an exaggeration, but if you ask around, everyone has some story to tell. Some of them are just sad and some are terrifying, but every women has one, whether they live in the city or in the country. It happens at work, at school, on the street, in the bedroom, on buses, in lobbies… I asked my lovely co-bloggers Bobby Wren and Banal Hex for examples from their personal lives and added one of my own.

Banal Hex: I’ve been harassed a number of times while driving. I happen to love driving with my windows down, and only use AC when it’s above 95 degrees. Most recently, I was sitting in traffic enjoying a cigarette after a long and stressful day (everyone has their vices,right?), when a rather large white pickup with two men stopped next to me. They honked multiple times, and I chose not to engage them. When I continued to ignored them, they yelled “hey baby” and “what are you puffin on there”and if I wanted to come share what I smoking with them. It’s reasonable to try to bum a cigarette in the middle of traffic, right? It was frightening because of the level of aggression these two men had, despite my 1.ignoring them and 2. Minding my own business. An open window on a nice day is never an invitation to be harassed.

Roy Glib: I’ve worked a number of retail jobs and from time to time I get hit on. Mostly it’s just harmless or friendly, nothing I would consider harassment. Sometimes it isn’t though. Once I had a customer complain that I had been rude to him and his 4 friends and started a tirade of insults and threats. I can’t say I handled the situation well. I feel helpless and infuriated at the same time as he and his friends came back to my store multiple times to tell me I should be a street walker, I had a nice booty, that I should suck his left nut (just the left one). I felt so demeaned and none of my coworkers stood up for me and I didn’t have the words to stand up for myself after a point.

Bobby Wren: I was walking hand in hand with Ramie late after a movie date on our way back to the parking garage. These two guys behind us, not quietly, said “look at these two fucking lesbos.” It was pretty uncomfortable and bordering on scary. Two little girls, all alone at night. One of them, purposely to intimidate us, took the stairs with us while the other just took the elevator. We were the only people in the parking garage at that hour. It was unexpected. I’m too used to my home area and its relative safety and openness.

I’ll admit culpability to this one. When Bobby told me that she had been harassed, I immediately asked her if she had pepper spray in her purse. Intentionally or not, I had shifted blame away from the harassers and onto Bobby for not having protection. I can argue I was just looking out for her safety, that I wanted her to be empowered, but the reality is that there is an underlying assumption that women who get harassed are asking for it. Why does Banal have to have her windows down, why did Bobby have to be so visible, why didn’t I just ignore them? All of these responses blame the victim and assume that if she hadn’t been where she was, or have been wearing something else, or had their keys ready to stab, it wouldn’t have happened. But that’s not the case. Harassment happens, and no one is asking for it. As a society, we need to make a group decision that harassment is not okay. Tell your coworkers that their casual comments about the bodies of others is not okay. Speak out about the unacceptable harassment you or your loved ones have experienced. The only way to stop harassment is to deal with it as a community and sweeping it under the rug by blaming the victims is only making the situation worse.

 

An excellent project to stop street harassment

RAINN on sexual harassment at work and school

A Warrior

 

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In Response to: Does Feminism Have a Class Issue? (Belated Post)

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A day late but here it is! Which is probably not the best way to start off my posts, but I have lots of excuses as to why I was unable to put up a blog yesterday, I promise (just give me a little longer to concoct some better ones). Let’s all just agree to pretend it is still Monday, okay? Thanks.

This post was inspired to continue the conversation about class and feminism. So, do I think that (mainstream) Feminism has a class issue? Yes definitely! (Read the Curve article for some economic insight on this subject.)

I think it’s more that people find it difficult to completely see outside themselves even when they are trying. A lot of that is just ignorance. We don’t actually know the everyday problems and struggles that others face because the evidence is not right in front of our faces. That is a HUGE issue and really not a good excuse anymore with the plethora of information at our fingertips that the Internet provides. Yet we are still completely unaware of problems that are just outside of our peripheral vision.

As a white, middle-class, cis female, there are a lot of trials I have never had to know and most likely never will. I grew up in a community that I could fall back on should something go wrong, and a family who had the financial stability to support me when I worked for little pay when I moved back home in my early 20’s. I am privileged and blessed that the majority of my personal feminist fight deals with principles, definitions, and details, and not fighting for survival. But that is not the case for everyone, just those who have the loudest and most accessible voices in American feminism at the moment.

There are many things that the privileged have access to that others don’t. Education, healthcare (usually), respect, birth control, affordable childcare, recognition, safety… And, like with affordable childcare, it’s not just about having convenience, but having the opportunity to improve your situation. If you can’t afford childcare, how will you have time to work to improve your station? How will you have the chance to further your education? How will you have the chance to take the “equal opportunity” supposedly guaranteed by law?

It is very important for all of us to realize not just how the Civil Rights movement will help ourselves individually, but even more so how it will improve the lives of those who have a more pressing need. We ought not be complacent in our ignorance or only focused on egotistic goals. A lot of this is the idea of solidarity. But you can’t have that if you don’t even know the very real issues others face.

So get out there and educate yourself! Practice empathy! Imagine people complexly!

Here are a few places to start:

– Intro to the concept of the Poverty Trap

– On how “I don’t see race” is an excuse that erases identity

Cultural Sensitivity

– On trans-feminism (read ALL of them!): Natalie Reed

Transnational Feminism